Finding the Secret to Happiness through Education
“We are our relationships.”
Lewis Mehl-Madrona, The Spirit of Healing
Every human being needs connections with others.
We thrive off of it.
And a lack of it poses a very real danger to us as individuals and as a society. 61% of Gen Z reports “feeling lonely ‘frequently’ or ‘almost all the time or all the time’”, which many scientists believe leads to an increase in depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts [1]. We need to feel connected to others— to have meaningful, productive, vulnerable relationships.
From the beginning of time, we can trace civilizations, tribes, and nations, all welded by the interpersonal relationships that made them strong.
“Connection is why we're here. We are hardwired to connect with others, it's what gives purpose and meaning to our lives, and without it there is suffering.”
Brene Brown, Daring Greatly
A desire for connection motivates humans in all sorts of ways—to start clubs and sports teams, to date, to marry, to text their friends stupid memes, and to stay up chatting at sleepovers. We find connection through shared interests—like movies, music, and video games. We find it through communal experiences—like the moon landing and holidays. We find it through religion, through occupations, through economic status and location.
But one way we find connection, that is often forgotten but critically important, is through education.
“A child without education is like a bird without wings.”
Tibetan Proverb
Education, whether formally through school or informally on our own, helps us build bridges with others. These tethers are where the surest form of happiness lies. “People with few social ties are 2 to 3 times more likely to suffer from depression, as compared to those with stronger social bonds” said a Harvard study [2].
There are two main ways that education helps us create strong social bonds: connection with the people in the past and connection through the sharing of knowledge.
Finding Connection through the Past
When I was a kid, I was very sickly—it was great. One thing that was a constant struggle was my asthma. No one in my family really understood how hard it was. I didn’t talk to my friends about it. It made me feel very small and very alone.
One day, I was reading a book in middle school about Theodore Roosevelt. To my surprise, this macho man who fought in wars and killed bears was, as it turned out, once a sickly young kid too. In fact, he even had asthma like me! Instantly, I felt so connected to him. I felt so seen and understood.
“Connection is the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued.”
Brene Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection
This kind of experience is common across so many people. A young girl who feels like an outcast because she loves science can find a deep connection with Marie Curie. A boy struggling with his sexuality can feel akin to Leonardo da Vinci, who also experienced the same kinds of emotions. A child whose interests veer towards the macabre can, through authors like Edgar Allen Poe or Mary Shelley, become emboldened to be true to themselves. An inexperienced ballerina, grappling with feelings of inadequacy, can learn through a study of Anna Pavlova that everyone starts somewhere.
The connective opportunities that education brings aren’t just through individual historical figures. People can find powerful, welding forces in learning about their own race or nationality. Learning about the Revolutionary War can create a kinship to their city for a Bostonian. A Lakota child can banish away feelings of insignificance when they learn about their ancestors, the great warriors of the high plains. As an African American teen learns about the hardships of their ancestors, they can discover a deeper, truer sense of connection to their heritage.
No matter who you are or what you value, there are people in the past across all countries and disciplines who have been through what you have. That reassuring knowledge can only be cultivated through education.
Finding Connection through Sharing Knowledge
The Narrative Paradigm theory posits that human beings are, by nature, storytelling creatures [3]. We can’t help it. Everything we do gets funneled through or transformed into a story. We learn lessons through these stories. We pass down values or transmit culture. But most importantly, we build relationships. Education is no different.
Every subject, whether its English or microbiology, is communicated to us through stories.
These can be overt narratives, like historical events or literature, or they can be more subtle stories, illustrating a mathematical principle or a biological theory.
When we focus on not only receiving stories from teachers, but also giving stories by sharing our knowledge, we are solidifying our connection with others. We are building a tribe.
“A tribe is a group of people connected to one another, connected to a leader, and connected to an idea… A group needs only two things to be a tribe: a shared interest and a way to communicate.”
Seth Godin, Tribes: We Need You to Lead Us
Finding your niche, finding your tribe or passion gives people a sense of purpose. It gives people a chance to excel at what they’re best at. When we are engaged in a pursuit that we love and are surrounded by like-minded people who share that love, we feel a greater sense of connection than ever before. Without education, it is nearly impossible to form these friendships that make us happy.
Education gives people of all ages the opportunity to live up to their potential and to build bonds with people who can make them feel seen and loved. Whether these people are figures from the past or friends in the present, education is the way we find them.